#so far it has been Very Strange and Great Fun

[chiropteracupola]

So I Have Started Reading Armadale.

[markscherz]

I… do not understand tumblr live. Like, are there actually only about 50 people streaming across the whole platform at any one time? And why are so many of them just… people smoking? Or unoccupied desks? And why is nobody talking about frogs?

[mariocki]

Inspector Morley, Late of Scotland Yard, Investigates: The Case of the Scarlet Letters (1.3, WGN-TV, 1952)

"Mr. Mullins, I have in my possession sixty-eight letters, none of which has begun to outlive its usefulness. I'm quite prepared to admit that blackmail is risky, but then murder has its disadvantages too - that is why I gave up murder."

[dirt-str1der]

WHY DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR AROACE SENKU HEADCANON ON MY GAY SENKU AND TRANS REI POST

Just finished Dr Stone Reboot

[bluelocksource]

U-20 Japan National Team Match Just Before the Game: A Day in Daily Life at Blue Lock.

Isagi: "I styled my hair. The little sprout on top of my head looks great today! Just then, Bachira came up and said, "Harvest ♪" while grabbing it tightly. No matter how much I tried to escape, he kept holding on. I resigned myself to it and let him grip it for a while until he got bored and went off somewhere. What a free spirit!"

Gagamaru: "There’s no nature inside Blue Lock. I wanted to see trees and flowers. Anything would be fine. Just something green. While I was looking around, I found Otoya. His bangs are green, so when I stared at him, he said, "Not into guys."

Aryū: "Little by little, the Blue Lock folks are starting to get a taste of 'Osha.' But in truly 'Osha' moments, people shine. I swear here that one day I’ll show that!"

Niko: "I was caught washing my forehead by Aryū-kun. It was embarrassing. But he taught me, 'Embarrassment is an important emotion that makes us human.' I became interested in Aryū-kun. I want to know a little more about this 'Osha' thing."

Chigiri: "I fell asleep while drying my hair. There’s no one here to wake me up. My hair is long, so it takes a while. Maybe I'll cut it next summer."

Bachira: "When I was walking around n*k*d, Karasu scolded me! Otoya joined me in being n*k*d ♪ Isagi... treated me the same as always! It seems he’s gotten tired of making remarks at my n*k*dn*ss. What a strange guy."

Karasu: "I found myself in the bath with Hiori. We didn't really have a conversation, but that was perfectly fine. I think we were both comfortable with it. It was great to see him looking well. I'm glad we had the chance to meet again."

Nagi: "I ate alone. I did the laundry by myself. I’ve become able to train on my own. I'm proud of myself. Changing is fun, but it can also be a hassle and a little lonely. Still, I think it's an important thing."

Otoya: "I contacted some girls I know on my smartphone after a long time. Most of them didn’t respond. It turns out that not keeping in touch regularly really does make girls dislike you. On to the next one! Woohoo ♪"

Yukimiya: "I talked about various things with Nagi-kun. Like the things we like, and how we've managed to get this far. It seems that for Nagi-kun, the existence of Isagi is significant. It's a story that doesn't really concern me, but having a rival like that feels nice somehow."

Rin: "When I woke up in the morning, my left lower eyelash was turned inside out and it hurt my eye. It happens sometimes, right? Bedhead with lower eyelashes. Huh? Is it just me? My brother said he has it... Oh, don't remind me of that guy. What a terrible wake-up!"

Hiori: "I trained with Isagi-kun. I sent in crosses, and Isagi-kun delivered a direct shot. With each one, he practices with intention and communicates well. He’s a smart type. He’s a bit like Karasu, too. I don’t dislike Isagi Yoichi."

Reo: "I ate alone and trained alone. It’s been a while since I did anything by myself. I can live on my own, but I dream of things I can’t do alone. I have to change. It’s not over yet. Someday, I’ll do it once more."

Barou: "I touched up the "X" shave on my temple. One line represents my murderous intent towards others, and the other represents my murderous intent towards myself. What’s that? Don’t look at me, you stinky guy (Nagi). It’s not a mark saying to give me a headshot here!"

Igaguri: "My hair had gotten long, so I asked Shidou to cut it with clippers, and he ended up giving me a heart-shaped bald spot on the back of my head. Love Amida Buddha…"

Ishikari: "I suddenly felt like playing basketball, so I asked Anri-chan for a basketball. I gathered some people randomly, and it turned out Kiyora was surprisingly really good. Basketball is so much fun!"

Kurona: "Good morning, good morning. Hello, hello. Good night, good night. Greetings are important, very important. It’s a given, but it’s precious. Everyone’s everyday life, everyday life."

Kiyora: "For dinner today, should I have croquettes or minced cutlets? My heart is 50% 50%. I feel like both choices are correct, but I also think I’d regret whichever one I choose. Alright. I’ll eat both. ………………………… Damn, I ate too much and my stomach hurts. Should I lie down or go to the bathroom? The borderline starts again."

Zantetsu: "It's better to brush your teeth properly every day, I told everyone. They replied, 'You should study more.' Well, if you get a cavity, don't say I didn't warn you!"

Tokimitsu: "I was saying, 'I lack confidence. I want confidence,' when Karasu-kun teased me, saying, 'It was just lying in the bathroom earlier, right?' Ugh… come on, don’t mess with me for real… Well, I went to check the bathroom anyway… but of course, it wasn’t there! Uwaaa!"

Nanase: "I washed my headband. When I put it in the dryer, it shrank a lot... what should I do? For now, I just wore it as it was that day. My head felt 'juri juri' (itchy)... Oh, I mean it felt 'zuki zuki' (throbbing). There goes my dialect again! Hehe, sorry about that!"

Hiiragi: "I used my hobby of tarot cards to predict my future. The 'Devil' card came up… Well, it's just a fortune-telling, right? Nothing to worry about! Right?"

Raichi: "I got really into a sideburns talk with Ishikari! His sideburns are pretty good, but mine are definitely cooler! In the end, we ended up arguing about it!"

Shidou: "I woke up. My mind feels clear. Yeah, it’s a good start today. In the afternoon, my body feels energized. I can sense my cells buzzing with excitement. At night, my heart feels restless. I’m sure something will happen tomorrow. I want to experience this night, knowing I can sleep with that thought, over and over again."

Ego: "Anri-chan was drooling and sleeping at her desk. She should sleep in her own room. Well, I decided to show a little concern for her. With this, she’ll probably listen to me for a while again. Kindness has its intentions. That’s how humans are."

Anri: "I was given an assignment by Ego-san to come up with ideas to make the existence of the Blue Lock better known to the world. Since that day, I've been stressed and having strange nightmares. Damn it… I want to sleep well! I’ll do my best!"

source: Egoist Bible 2

[teaspoontarot]

Pick A Card: What Will The New Year Bring?

Pick a pile 1-4!

These messages are meant to sweeten your day and add a teaspoon of fun! You will always know yourself and your situation the best, therefore everything written here is just to give you a little nudge or to add a little sweetness!

🍵 Teaspoon

Pile 1 💫

Back in business! This past year has had its ups and downs especially regarding the home or close friends. Possibly involving rumor or gossip that has caused tension and pain. You’ve opened the windows and let the air blow through so anything that didn’t need to stay has found its way out.This year you’re focusing on the practical side of life. The turning of a new leaf 🍃.

You’ve been honest with yourself and others and now you’re moving on! You’re no longer waiting for someone to join you in your life and are now focused on just enjoying the ride as it comes. Good tidings and joy for this new year, a more relaxed (or enjoyable) roller-coaster than the one you just got off of. This year isn’t so much about slowing down but more so appreciating how far you’ve come.

There’s still a lot left to do but from where you’re standing the view already looks pretty great. You’re putting down new roots and making a name for yourself!

The new year brings stability and foundation. A new business venture or recognition. A rise in self-esteem and better communication. Joy to be found in the unlikeliest of places.

Tarot Card For The Year Ahead

Two of Swords ⚔️

“Aim for a meeting of minds, for your mutual interest…working on trust and knowing when to trust a hunch”

Affirmations

“When I Think I’ve Surrendered, I Surrender More”

“I Speak Positively of Others”

“I Spread Joy”

Pile 2 ✨

Healing, healing, healing. Learning to forgive yourself and to love yourself with grace. There’s someone you’ve walked away from and the pain still stings. You’ve been stabbed in the side and still hoped that it was simply an accident.

You want to love and cherish so much that you feel a bit silly. Maybe you feel like you need to force yourself back to reality or that what you want simply isn’t for you. This is gentle reminding you that whatever happened does not mean the end. Very rarely is the world so black and white, and frequently things that are broken can be healed or find a new space in the world.

Do not be harsher on yourself than you would be to somebody else. You don’t have to always rise above it all, sometimes it’s nice to rest and find a place to sleep. Stormy waters do not make stronger swimmers, just more tired one. You may feel like you’ve been drowning for years and you’ve only been able to find stray driftwood to cling onto. You will find land, and it will feel strange but good. You’ve swam for so long it feels odd to rest. Forgive yourself for the rest you need. The help will fill it’s way to you.

Your new year brings much needed space, healing, and little discomfort but ultimately what is needed to find stability and foundation.

Tarot Card For The Year Ahead

Ace of Cups 💘

"The start of something wonderful: a taste of whatever is your Holy Grail”

Affirmations

“I Find Deeper Meaning, And Personal Growth Amid The Discomfort”

“I Am Forgiving”

Pile 3🎆

Dreams coming true! You’ve been focused and have faced obstacles you never thought you could get over. Now comes the easy part! Be excited and gracious as this new year rings in. The times when you were honest even though it scared you are pushing you forward.

Honesty does not have to be cruel, it can be sweet and show truth warmth for yourself and others. You’re finding the people who understand you the most and the goals you’ve carried on your back for so long you have finally found space for them.

You’ve climbed the mountain with a heavy burden and now it is time to enjoy the sunrise! Take a seat, have a drink of your choice and share a laugh.

The new year is all about joy, friends, family and an appreciation of what it took to get there. People have your back and you have theirs, true partnership! Love surrounds you in the new year! Enjoy it!

Tarot For The Year Ahead

Ten of Swords 🌠

“The battle has been won! Expect a hug release of pent-up energy in your heart and body”

Three of Swords 🌟

“You have the opportunity to establish the contract. Be fair in your arrangements”

Eight of Pentacles🌹

“A regular and reliable arrangement or resource: sometimes we just want someone who can comfortably deliver”

Affirmations

“My Energy Creates My Reality. What I Focus On Is What I Will Manifest”

“I Do Good”

Pile 4🌸

Everything that you're wanting is waiting for you but you have to let go of someone or something. This is the year of transformation or renewal. Spring is coming and it wants to invite you in with open arms. Let yourself bloom as you need to.

You are being asked to take a little more control in the matters that may be impacting you. There may be a hard conversation you will have to have with yourself about what you truly want. You have to be honest with yourself. There’s an open door waiting for you but you fear walking through it and worry about the consequences of such an action. A slight feeling of indecision but you already know the answer, it’s the moving forward that is scary.

There are people that will meet you on the other side, and there are others rooting for you to take that first step. Like baby bird trying to crack open it’s shell. The world is awaiting you, in all of it’s harsh beauty. Staying where you are will lead to discontent.

The new year bring you discomfort, but truth and the power to push forward.

Tarot For The Year Ahead

The Awakening🎊

“Accept a unique opportunity. Allow yourself to be overwhelmed. Make a liberating change in your worldview”

Seven of Pentacles✈️

“Don’t overthink a situation that simply needs to run its course”

The Hanged One🚞

“Be aware of an uncomfortable limbo. Being stuck in role”

Affirmations

“I Am The Dreamer of My Dream”

“I Consume Only My Fair Share”

“I Hold Purity In High Esteem”

“I Regard All Altars With Respect”

[misstycloud]

Platonic. yandere fae father

Part 2

—————-

Fae. Father! Who is a free-spirited forest fae; he obeys no one and has no ties to the mundane world. He does whatever he wants and spends everyday lazily sleeping in the luscious meadows or going for a swim in the crystal-blue lake that is well hidden from mortals. He is old by human standards, but quite young when comparing to how long a fae generally lives. It is noticeable in the way he acts.

Fae. Father! Who has no perception of time and has spent decades having the same routine over and over again. After so long, one is fated to become bored of it all. So what does he do? He decides to spend one summer engaged in a passionate love affair with a human! They were always fun to mess with. Not to mention kind of weird-looking too, they held no torch to his immortal and otherworldly beauty. After the summer is done and the leaves are turning yellow, he dumps the human like trash. He even goes as far as making fun of her for believing he actually loved her and banishing her from his part of the forest.

Fae. Father! Who’s one day traveling to another portion of the woodland in search for a certain water flower that he wishes to plant in his own little lake. Then, he hears a strange sound. It was a type of wailing mixied with gurgling- a horrible sound, really. Needing to find the source of the disturbing noise, the fae is led to the outskirts of his territory. There he sees a small bundle of cloth squirming on the ground. Poking at it cautiously, he uncovers the blankets and sees what was inside.

It appeared to be a human baby. But what on earth was it doing here? The fae was greatly confused. Had some human dared abandoning their offspring right outside his home? The audacity! He didn’t want any mortals anywhere near his home without his permission. After thinking for a minute, the fae come to the conclusion that he should simply eat the child or perhaps throw it to the wolves. He prepared to pick it up and get it done with when he noticed something off with the baby. It was strangely familiar somehow, and the aura it gave off wasn’t entirely like humans either. Carefully pulling the cloth further back from the baby’s face, it revealed the reason as to why it seemed so familiar; its ears were mostly round- human ears- except the tips were slightly pointed, just like his were.

Fae. Father! Who has the shocking realisation that the baby was his own child. It all dawned upon him. Putting the clues and timing together it was obviously the woman he’d spent the last summer with who was the mother. He didn’t know that humans and fae could procreate and therefore didn’t think this would happen.

Fae. Father! Who didn’t know what to do or how to feel in the beginning. Since the baby was his, he thought he couldn’t just leave it alone. So he brought it with him to his home. Normally, he’d be a bit repulsed by the baby considering children were known to be messy, disruptive and loud. However, he found that the babe stopped crying the moment he took it in his arms as he was brining it back with him, and it had been quiet since then. For some reason, it warmed his heart. It had this unusual, soft feeling. He tried shaking it off as being to overwhelmed but as time went on, the feeling only grew.

Fae. Father! Who completely fell in love with you not long after finding you. You were very cute compared to other newborns- most likely a result of your fae DNA. Besides, you didn’t cry as much and showed great kindness early in life. The fae, after a couple weeks of just keeping you in his home, decided to fully accept you into his life. He couldn’t help it, you were just too cute!

Fae. Father! Who had to get his act together. He could no longer be adventurous like he’d been his entire life, he was a father now and it meant he had to be responsible. He couldn’t bare it of something happened to you because of his recklessness.

Fae. Father! Who spent every waking moment with you, either swimming in the lake as he’d done so many times before, playing in the forest or befriending the animals. But his absolute favourite activity was whenever you’d braid each others hair. Yours looked so lovely with all the summer’s flowers imbedded in it. He wasn’t going to lie, he also rather enjoyed the praise and compliments he got from you regarding his own hair. You weren’t very skilled in the art of braiding yet, and it was messy compared to his work, but he couldn’t love it more. It was something you had done for him; that you spent time and effort doing.

Fae. Father! Who had actually been feeling a little lonely. Perhaps that was the real reason to why he sought closeness with a human. He knew, however, that is couldn’t last. A human and a fae? They were just too different. She would pass on too quickly, and he’d be left alone again. That would make him have to repeat the process over and over, which was something he wasn’t interested in.

But you were half fae. There was of course the issue of how long you’d live. While you were half immortal, your other half wasn’t. Logically, you wouldn’t live as long as a regular fae. It worried Fae Father greatly. You couldn’t die. What would he do without you? He tried not to dwell on it too much- you were still young and full of life. He had time to figure out how to keep you alive forever.

So just play and be happy with him.

—-

[fuckingmeteors]

I have tried to make a transcript of the Radio Adelaide interview! There are a few places where I'm not quite sure what they're saying (especially when they speak over each other), so if anyone is willing to take a look at it, I would gladly welcome corrections! (Also I hope the formatting isn't too shit. If it is, I apologize.)

[introduction]

Host/Interviewer:

I spoke with Dan and Phil, who are on their Terrible Influence tour at the moment. I think they’re in Sydney right now, even though I had to call them on the phone via England [laughter]. They’re gonna be on at the Adelaide Entertainment Centre next week, Monday the 16th of December. And these guys, they’re British Internet Youtube radio hosts, they’re critics of games, they’re book authors, Dan and Phil, they’re currently in Australia having their Terrible Influence tour which lands in Adelaide at the entertainment Centre next week and they’re attempting to “take back what the internet took from them”!

So, it’s allegedly a screamingly hilarious live stage show. I have no doubt that it is hilarious. They’re “older, gayer and Phil’s gone blonde” evidently, and nothing is off limits. Now I was brought to their, uh, to the attention of them by some younger folk, who asked me to ask them certain questions, throw some sort of slightly strange questions at them, and I haven’t got time to include all of those questions and also I had a call after the interview from one of the duo suggesting that “oh, you might get trolled if you ask a question like that and people misinterpret it”, because I was asking, uh… I believe they’ve become a couple, I’m not sure if they’ve gotten married, but they may have gotten married or they may just be, like, going steady, but they’re a terrific pair of comic lads, in the vein of Kenny Everett, sort of. They don’t have a TV show as such, they were both youtubers, which means that they had a little bit of youtube shows, and then they started guesting on each other’s show, and then they eventually started doing stuff together. Very interesting lads. And I just really want to play the interview now.

[interview starts playing]

Dan: And I’ve got a mullet now that I’m in Australia because apparently that’s what people do. (?) Australians have more fun and I wanted to appropriate a little bit of the culture while we’re here doing the show.

Phil: I think it’s more of a micro-mullet, Dan, though, you know, you haven’t gotten to full mullet, it’s more of a micro-mullet.

D: It’s a mullet without the T, it’s just a mull-è.

I: Mull-è hahaha, all right! Just with that sort of…

P: Yeah, without the T, yeah!

I: That sort of hard E at the end.

P: Yes.

I: How has your tour been going so far, gentlemen?

D: It’s been amazing to be in Australia, no offense, we loved having a great time in America, but we’re very happy to be in Australia. Although, I know it’s summer, why is it so hot? Nowhere on Earth should be this warm.

I: You haven’t reached Adelaide yet, have you?

D: No, God, don’t tell me it’s warmer!

I: Yes, Yes, we’re in the middle of a very dry, arid area, very isolated, a long way from anywhere, but there’s only about maybe thirty of forty tickets left at your gig here?

D: We’re happy for the people of Adelaide, they’re, you know, they’re out here, in that dry, arid desert, and there’s nothing to do but come to the Dan and Phil show, and we love them for that, they’re all making responsible financial decisions, so we’re very grateful for all the people that are coming to the show.

P: And if there’s forty people listening, come hang out with us, it’s gonna be a fun time!

D: Yeah, what else are you doing on that night?

P: We’re gonna be pumping the aircon out.

D: Yeah, just come to have somewhere cool to sit in the theatre, you know what I mean?

I: Are you collecting things from your hangouts that you’re gonna discuss at the next show? Like before a show, if people hang out with you, give you a piece of art, or a little letter, a note, something like that, do you then discuss it in front of the (?)

D: Oh, a big trendy thing these days, yeah Taylor Swift had started this trend of the bracelets that people, that have things on (?), so people would make these bracelets that say “Dan” or “Phil” in beads, and the other day someone gave me a bracelet that said “vegemite" on it.

I: Hahaha

D: And I was like “what the heck?” and they said, “you don’t understand, this is incredibly culturally important, so I was like “okay, thank you, I will cherish the vegemite bracelet”.

P: I got one that said “koala daddy”, I’m not sure what that meant, but (?)

D: (?)

I: Koala daddy?

P: Yep, I think that’s what they were calling me!

I: Have you actually dipped your tongue into any vegemite as yet?

P: Uh, I would have to say it was one of the most horrific experiences of my life, I’m sorry! [Dan laughter in the background]

D: What, Phil, you don’t like a yeast-based condiment?

P: No.

D: How dare you?

P: Dan loved it, though. (?)

D: I’m just a yeasty kind of guy.

I: Yeah, it’s kind of up there with marmite, isn’t it?

D: It is, but I only eat sweet things, so I couldn’t handle it, but Dan was eating a second portion of toast this morning, and loved it.

I: Yeah, it’s good for you!

P: And last time we were in Adelaide we did a vlog where we explored the town, didn’t we? We got Tim Tams, we did a Tim Tam Slam.

D: Yeah. The national sport.

I: The national sport, sucking coffee through a Tim Tam.

D: Yeah, yeah.

P: I can get down with that.

I: Oh yeah, it’s a lot of fun to do! You realise that our Premier is the one who started the ball rolling with the social media ban for under sixteen-year-olds? You’re lucky that you’re here now at this stage of your career rather than at the beginning of your career, because there’s a lot of young people who have grown with you, who will be able to come and see your show!

D: Yeah, absolutely.

I: Are you relying on them sort of moving forward with you?

D: People have been with us for a long time and people tell us some things that are very disturbing.

P: Yeah, we’ve had some people meet us that are like, “I’ve watched you ten years ago, still watching you now, and I’ve got a whole child now!” and it’s like, what, what is happening!

I: Hahaha!

P: Time isn’t real!

I: It’s kind of a historic moment, you’re probably the first English lads to have linked in to youtube, and the Internet, and gone off the way that you have.

D: Nah(?), we were just… well, we come from an early generation, Phil has been doing it for so long that you couldn’t even make a career off youtube yet, there was no monetization, he was just doing it out of boredom, that’s how terrifying it is.

P: Yeah, I’m a youtube dinosaur, so yeah, I think definitely(?) I was one of the first ones to do it, but it’s crazy that we’re still doing it now, 15 years later.

I: It’s basically become a career for you, hasn’t it?

D: Absolutely, and none of it was planned, it’s been a constant runaway train since day one, and the emergency brake stopped a long time ago.

I: What kind of experiences are you getting to have in your down time while you’re in Australia this time around?

D: Well, I wanted to go to the beach, and then Phil said there’s a high chance you’re gonna get eaten by a shark, and I was like, “a high chance? I don’t know about that” and then we asked a guy and he was like “oh no, they’re out there, I see them every week”; so… [laughter]

P: I am hoping to look into the eyes of a wombat and have an emotional connection.

D: A  Deep spiritual moment? Okay.

P: My favourite animal.

I: A wombat?

P: Yeah, I love a wombat!

D: Underrated.

I: Do you like the hairy-nosed wombat, or just the plain old brown one?

P: I’m not sure of the difference, maybe I should find that out, maybe that’s gonna be my quest.

D: (?) Make a decision.

I: Yeah, if you come face to face or nose to nose with a hairy-nosed wombat, he’s more likely to roll over and let you cuddle his tummy. The other ones have got a (?) and they’re a little bit more aggressive.

D: Okay. Sounds like me.

I: [laughter]. Have the audiences been laughing at all the right spots so far?

D: Definitely, and they’ve been laughing at all the inappropriate spots where they’re not supposed to, as well. But we’ll take it. You either have an audience that laughs all the time even at the inappropriate moments, or a quiet one. And I don’t want a quiet one.

P: Also, a good thing about our show is that we kind of give everyone a recap of everything that’s happened in the last fifteen years, so if you’re like, “oh, I used to watch Dan and Phil a while ago”, you can still come along and you’ll get right up to speed.

D: Oh, we know that people are dragging their husbands, their mothers, their older sisters to the show, and these people are like, “what the heck is going on?”, so don’t worry, we cover the base.

I: Sounds good to me! I hope you have a fantastic time in Adelaide, and you continue to enjoy yourselves.

D: Thank you!

I: Ride the wave, don’t worry about sharks.

P: Excellent, well, yeah, we’re looking forward to it. Thanks, nice to speak to you!

I: You too, cheers lads! Dan and Phil…

P: Cheers!

D: Bye!

I: They’ll be at the Adelaide Entertainment Centre next Monday, uh, coming. On the 16th. So, if you are keen to see them do their thing live on stage, go and join the masses that have already bought their tickets, get in while you can.

[mrchiipchrome]

Work

W.C. - 1.2 k

a/n: I’ve been having so much fun dealing with migraines, a break up, exams and getting an eye infection that I’ve totally forgot to write, so take this as a sort of apology:)

———————

It wasn’t hard to be the best footballer in the world’s girlfriend. All things considered, life with Aitana was pretty good, amazing even, if it weren’t for Aitana’s incessant need to ask people if they were employed.

It started small, when Aitana first met your family in Sweden, she had asked your brother whether he worked or not, happy when he started raving about his work, happy to find someone as passionate about their work as her.

Since that interaction it seemed like she searched that passion out in every interaction she had, going as far as to climb over rows of seats in order to speak to people.

She was nothing short of a social butterfly, and you were her anti-social caterpillar. The Swede in you was drawn to the Spanish affectionate nature even if it was vastly different from your own.

Your tiny girlfriend was as much of a magician on the pitch as she was off it, her ability to simply vanish the second you took your eyes off her was quite impressive, but not very enjoyable on your part. You almost had to invest in a private investigator to figure out how she did it, the way she always fooled you simply driving you crazy to the point of oblivion.

Still, you loved her strange habits simply for the fortune of having her, having her in every way imaginable.

You loved getting to hold her even as she squirmed to get away, kisses raining down on her face after a long game, using your substantially taller frame to put some space between her feet and the ground so that she wouldn’t be able to get away.

———————

Your muscles ache as your feet thump against the ground, the last game before a small break one of great performances, you yourself slipping 4 goals past the keeper, all of them assisted by your wonderful girlfriend.

Still, despite your obviously tired appearance, you were still ushered away to the corner of the pitch for an interview, being handed a man of the match award for your efforts during the game. This meant that your girlfriend was left unsupervised, your tired mind mixed with needing to seem professional before the camera completely taking up all your attention, meaning you didn’t immediately notice your girlfriend beelining for the stands.

“So, how does it feel to be back in the squad after the hamstring injury?” The reporter looks at you intently, trying her hardest to stare into your soul, or that’s at least what it seems like.

“Yeah, I mean it’s always special to be part of this squad, I’m not even going to lie and say that it’s been easy sitting on the bench when all I wanted was to jump on the field and score again but ultimately I got through it. I’m really happy with the performance as well, my beautiful girlfriend assisted all my goals so that makes it even better.” You smile widely when you mention your girlfriend, seeing through half-lidded eyes as the reporter's smile drops before she plasters it back on.

‘No need to be unprofessional now’ you think to yourself, looking away from her in search of that girlfriend to see if she could save you from the creepy situation.

But in your attempt to catch your girlfriend’s attention, you see her about to climb over the railings to talk to fans. You know that it’s dangerous, not only because of the altitude, but also because you never knew the intentions of some fans.

Somewhere in the background you can hear the reporter speaking to you, but you don’t pay her any mind, simply getting more anxious the longer you are standing there.

“It has to be special to be back with your teammates-”

“Perdón!” Is all you’re able to get out before you take off in Aitana’s direction, your legs no longer aching thankfully enough.

Your hands latch around her hips, tugging her softly away from the railing like you would a cat that had burrowed its claws into the couch. Aitana yelps as she looks back at you suspiciously, her hands coming down to rest on your shoulders when she realized that she didn’t have any plan of escape, seemingly just accepting her fate.

There are multiple cameras pointed at you, including the social media manager’s, so you just know that the interaction would find itself on the internet by the time you would be sitting in the bus.

Strangely enough, you didn’t mind that fact all that much, liking that the world would see how much you loved your girlfriend, maybe it would discourage reporters from trying to shoot their shot with you.

“Hey there pretty lady, whatchu’ doin’?” Aitana smiles at you innocently, acting like she totally didn’t try to climb over the railings. She presses a quick kiss to your cold cheek, enjoying the way your face darkens a few shades, the red spreading up your cheeks like food coloring in water.

It leads her to continue, kisses soon being placed on every single space on your face, with you soon blending in with the tomatoes you were growing in your garden.

“You are very cute.” She whispers lowly, her eyes flitting over your face as she smiles, keeping the words between the two of you like it was a secret only meant for your ears. Perhaps it was, you never knew with Aitana.

“And you are trying to distract me from the fact that you were totally trying to climb up into the stands. You’re lucky to be adorable, because Jona is one more abandoned interview away from benching me.” You boop her nose, shifting her body around so that your left arm was the only thing holding her body up, her arms still around your shoulders.

Walking back towards the interviewer, her professional smile drops from her face the second she sees Aitana perched on your arm, but nonetheless you approach her civilly. Aitana smiles brightly at the camera soon pointed at her again, media training mixed with the attention she’s getting from you being the perfect situation for the camera.

“Hola, lo siento, this one was getting herself into trouble. Had to get her out, don’t want the gaffer to bench the superstar now do we?” You motion towards Aitana with your head, the girl still sitting perched atop your arm slapping the back of your head lightly. Switching her around again, you quickly put her down back on her own feet, Aitana’s arms coming down to wrap around your waist tightly, almost possessive in a way.

“Thank you for today, that was all we needed. Here’s your man of the match trophy.” You get handed the trophy, turning to your girlfriend to brag, only to find her gone once more, her small body shooting across the pitch to get as much space between you two as she could.

It was almost as if you could see into the future as she jumps up and throws herself over the railings, giggling madly along the way.

You start to laugh too, the high speed chase the biggest highlight of the day, because not even scoring 4 goals could overshadow spending even a second laughing with your girl.

And even though Mapi would be teasing you for weeks about the absolute lovesick actions that day, you wouldn’t have it any different, besides you had more than enough ammunition to be able to blackmail her for eternity, so it didn’t really matter anyways.

[misspelledwordswizard]

Some forms of courtship of male wolves are to adopt dominant postures, like show their teeth or they may give gifts such as meat or bones, all to impress the female

I like to think that Twilight unconsciously does something similar, he stands at attention around you, puffs out his chest a little, if he hunts an animal he makes sure to pass close to you so you can see it, finds nice things around and leaves them in your stuff, etc

It's all about you, he wants your attention and approval so much unconsciously that he's like a puppy, If you want, he can lie on his back in front of you (act of submission or surrender) Just so you understand how much you have him wrapped around your finger, But please tell him he's doing everything good 🥺

I really like this, this idea itself is very good, and maybe it's because I like it so much that it was so difficult to do.

It took me a long time to get around to writing something about it, because all the ideas didn't seem good enough, and I still think it didn't turn out the way I wanted. But here it is!

Instincts

The Rancher approached me, with something in his hands, crouched down in front of me, where I was sitting, extended his closed hand towards me and opened it, revealing a golden ring with a blue stone in it. 

— What is this? – I asked, confused about why he had it, and why he was showing it to me, and not about what the object itself was. 

— A ring, I found it in a chest. It’s for you. – He answered, still with his hand extended, offering me the ring. – As soon as I saw it, I thought of you. – He concluded with a sweet smile on his lips. 

That made me smile too, it was really nice to know that someone thought of me seeing something like that, especially when that someone is Twilight. This feeling has been following me constantly for the last few weeks, I feel strangely silly when he’s around, and it feels like I’m going crazy, because I’m starting to think that maybe this could mean something more coming from him. This is probably just my deluded mind seeing things, but it makes me happy. 

I accepted the ring, he didn’t seem willing to give up on the idea of ​​me wearing it, and it fit perfectly on my ring finger, it felt right to be there, and it was really very beautiful.  Satisfied with that, the blond stood up and turned his attention to something Time had said, but I hadn’t heard it, as I was too focused on the present to notice the things around me. 

I sighed and hoped that no one was around to hear my silly act of a little girl in love, especially the Veteran and the Captain. I got up from the place I had been sitting under the shade of a tree. It was still morning, some of the boys had gone out to explore the surroundings of the place where we were camping and had just returned, as had Twilight. This ring was probably found in the surroundings. And now, he, Time and the Champion were going to hunt for our food. There wasn’t much to do. We would be staying here all day to replenish our supplies and regain our strength, as the next city was still far away. 

I went towards where Sky was sitting, he was sculping something on a small piece of wood, which ended up catching my attention.  I sat down next to him and was greeted by a kind smile. He seemed to understand my curiosity, because before saying anything he showed me the object he was working on. It still looked very unfinished, almost shapeless, but I was able to recognize that it was a bird. 

— It’s a hobby of mine, it helps me to distract myself.  

— I liked it, it’s really cool, but it seems difficult. You’re talented. – I replied, enchanted by the manual work, I wanted to know how to do things like that, it would be great to give as a gift.  

— Do you want to try? I can teach you if you want.  

— Are you sure? I won’t get in your way? – He just laughed at my question.  

— No, of course not, it will be fun!  

That was enough to convince me, after all, I was already very tempted. Sky gave me a square piece of wood that I could make whatever I wanted and asked me to choose something to carve. I thought for a moment, but soon a perfect image came to mind. He helped me mark the shape on the wood, and then he showed me how I should use the tools.  

It took a while for me to get the hang of it, but soon I was in the mood and we were both working on it, focused, taking advantage of this quiet time to talk.  He told me about his Zelda, and how he used to make her these cute little gifts. There came a time when we just talked about whatever came to mind, without much concern. 

Until the hero stopped talking, and something covered the sun behind me, creating a large shadow. Sky looked at what was behind me, looking surprised and confused, mostly confused, which made me look back too. And there he was, standing, at his full size, carrying a slaughtered boar on his shoulders with a certain pride, with his clothes even a little stained by the animal’s blood, Twilight. For some reason, he was just standing there, without reacting, staring at his brother with something that looked like a frown, which only made the situation stranger and more confusing. 

— Well, if you’ll excuse me, I needed to talk to Time, now that he’s back. – Sky said, getting up from his seat and leaving, with an expression that looked like understanding. 

I could see the wolf boy’s posture relax drastically, and finally, when Sky left us, his gaze turned directly to me, with a big smile on his face. I stood up, putting my unfinished work in one of the pockets of my belt, and turning my attention to him. 

— I got this. – That was all he said, keeping his proud smile on his lips, making me smile with his attitude. 

— Impressive! I’m sure the Cook and I will be able to make something very good out of this. 

His smile faltered for a moment at my words, but then he just nodded in agreement, satisfied for some reason. 

— Yes, I’ll help you. 

— Oh, no need, you’ve already done great at that. 

— No, it’s okay, I want to help you. 

I ended up just accepting that, so I went over to where Wild was to prepare lunch. He didn’t take too kindly to the idea of ​​the Rancher helping, saying there wouldn’t be much for him to do, but his insistence ended up winning the argument. He ended up only being left with the task of cutting the meat, in the end, but that seemed good enough for him. While the Champion and I took care of the rest and talked, he kept staring at his brother with that same weird frown. What’s gotten into him? 

After we did most of the work, all that was left was to wait until the meat cooked, so Wild released us from the task. I went to a corner to read, and for a moment, I thought Twilight would follow me to that corner, if he hadn’t been called by Warriors, making him sulk again. It’s a shame, I really wish I had his company right now. 

 I didn’t see him again then, at least not until now. After lunch I spent the rest of the afternoon going back to work on the wooden sculpture, I wanted it to be perfect. This was good, because it distracted me for hours, when I saw it, it was already getting dark, the boys who were out, for unknown reasons, returned, including my wolf boy, who came straight towards me, ignoring any calls from his brothers.  

He threw himself down next to me, resting his head on my shoulder and sighing. Poor thing, it must have been a tiring day for him. I put my work, now finished, aside and moved so I could look at him better, making him raise his head, attentive to my movements. I put a hand on his cheek, I felt hypnotized by his beauty, and it hit me even harder when I saw him melt into my hand, smiling. That was, until his smile died, for some reason, leaving me worried. Did I do something wrong?   

Before I could ask him anything about it, he pulled me into his lap, making me squeal in surprise, and pulled me close to his body, hugging me tightly in a protective manner. I couldn’t be more confused, but I’m definitely not complaining. 

— What’s wrong? – I asked softly, and he took a moment to answer, looking thoughtful. 

— You still smell like Sky. I’m taking care of it. 

I didn’t know what to say to that, I didn’t imagine that I could smell like someone else like that, but there was no point in contradicting him about it either, after all, Twilight’s sense of smell is definitely quite sharp. I sighed, relaxing against the strong man’s body with a goofy smile on my face. What a good day. 

— Oh, I have something for you! – I said, picking up the sculpture I had been working on, which was shaped like a wolf, or rather, Wolfie, and handing it to him. – Sorry, it didn’t turn out very well, I’m still learning. 

He held the gift carefully, analyzing it, looking surprised. Then he pulled me closer, giving me a tight hug and burying his face in my neck, I could feel him smiling against my skin. 

— Thank you, dear. – He said, looking me in the eyes again, and placing a warm kiss on my right cheek. 

[help-itrappedmyself]

Summoning Game Show 2

Masterpost

“Okay! You guys are from an Earth right?”

The bat brothers glance at each other before they all start nodding.

“Cool cool. If you need to stretch or warm up, I suggest doing that during the following explanation” Danny watches as Nightwing does start doing light stretches. Not too much, but Dick knows he’s still pretty loose from the fight before falling through the portal, so he’s just making sure he’s still warm. “So, human version of the obstacle course is timed, you have to finish 7 obstacles in under 10 minutes. You can get creative with the obstacles, have fun with it. The only rules are no flying, no intangibility, and no breaking anything! I will be doing some announcing to the best of my ability so don’t let me distract you. There will be no one else in the room with you, so if you’re confused by an obstacle or get hurt and need to stop or something just shout for us. When you’re ready the obstacle course is through the Door with the big number 1 on it. Your time starts when the door opens, so be ready.”

Danny takes a moment, tapping his finger to his chin. “That’s about everything I think. Any questions?” He smiles brightly at Nightwing.

“Uh, no thank you.” Nightwing stops stretches and starts heading for the door.

“Give us a moment and we’ll let you know when you can start!” Danny shouts after him., then turns to the rest of them. “Since you’re not participating in this round, you all come up and sit on the stage.” Three chairs almost instantly appear behind Danny and once the boys are all on the stage a large screen appears along the entire front edge of the platform. The screen is blank at the moment. “Is everybody ready?” Danny looks behind him to get nods from the boys sitting in their chairs, then turns to the ghosts to make sure everything was running smoothly, then to Nightwing who nods at Danny. A timer appears in the upper left corner of the screen, and on top of the door in front of Nightwing. “Okay Nightwing, you can go when you’re ready.”

Nightwing opens the door, quickly walking through and surveying the scene, the course is walled so he can only see what’s in front of him which looks like a military wall, It has a sign the says “Obstacle 1’ on it, and has a rope climb which he climbs to the top of quickly. 

“Making quick work of The Wall, and moving on to Parkour, the test of speed and balance.” Danny comments.

Danny and the boys watch him climb on the screen in front of them, the camera panning to give a view of what he sees as he makes it to the top of the wall. “Obstacle 2’ is a nice speed jump course, mostly angled platforms and ledges and Nightwing jumps from one to the other easily, heading downhill. All lower body so far, but he’s approaching ‘Obstacle 3’, - “The Bars, to test upper body and grip strength!” - is what appears to be monkey bars, but the fifteen bars are all at different lengths from each other. Instead of a ladder, there’s a trampoline to help him reach the first bar, but Nightwing has to do a quick double take when he sees what's below the monkey bars.

“What is that?” Nightwing asks, and it echoes strangely to the audience in the other room. 

Danny doesn’t really know why he stopped. “Safety feature! Didn’t want you falling onto concrete or something, it’s just a pool.”

The pool is a green that is very familiar to the brothers and that they have been seeing a lot of since coming through the portal. 

“Is your safety feature actually safe for humans?” Red asks at the same time Nightwing goes: “Are you telling me that is your version of water?”

Nightwing, despite his slight reluctance, has started on the monkey bars, doing a great job making his way across.

“It’s kind of radioactive to humans actually, but this part of the Infinite Realms doesn’t have any actual water.” Danny almost wants to laugh at the look on the boy's faces when he says ‘radioactive’. “It is a safety feature, so it won’t kill anyone, but depending on how much exposure there is there might be some side effects.”

“Gee, that’s just great.” Hood mutters.

Nightwing reaches the last ring of the monkey bars, which leads to a small trapeze bar which he takes with glee, swinging right over to ‘Obstacle 4’, a large net wall, and transferring on. Instead of taking the time to climb over the net, he just wiggles through one of the holes to the other side.

“Hey, nice one, that saved you some time!” Danny exclaimed.

Nightwing reaches ‘Obstacle 5’, what looks like a ropes course mixed in with a laser grid. There are small floating platforms in various locations, interspersed with ropes in every possible direction, some just dangling, some with clear climbing knots that can help reach the platforms, and some that are just in the way blocking the clearest jumps and paths across. There’s five minutes left on his clock.

“The floating grid!” Danny announces. “Main test for agility and problem solving!”

When Nightwing reaches the last floating platform he’s able to step right onto solid ground again, there’s a wall in front of him, the only way through looking to be a hole at ground level. “Obstacle 6, the crawl! We looked into a mud crawl, but nobody wanted to bring in mud for it, so it’s just a regular crawl.” Danny shrugs lightly. “I hope you’re not claustrophobic!” Nightwing lowers himself and starts to crawl into the hole. It’s longer than he thought, and once he’s inside his body is blocking all light into it, he can’t see where it ends. It is a good thing he’s not claustrophobic, Dick thinks to himself as he reaches a slant, starting to crawl up now. At least in this direction he can see light again.

As he crawls out of the tunnel he sees that he has two minutes left to do the last obstacle, and he gets back up to his feet and stops.

“Obstacle 7, the jump pit!” Danny claps lightly. “This is my favorite.” 

Nightwing is standing on a very high ledge and there’s a pit beneath him. The pit is filled with what he assumes are foam shapes, like the pits you land in when attempting new tricks in a trampoline park or gymnastics center. Nightwing takes another second to look down at the pit, he is so high up. “It’s soft down there right? I’m supposed to jump in there?” His voice is quiet, as normal as heights have gotten for him the idea of falling so far is making him freeze a bit.

“Yes, it’s a soft landing. The pit is a safe depth and filled with cushioning, you just have to jump in and get to the platform at the end.” Danny explains.

Nightwing knows crawling through the foam shapes is difficult and time consuming and he glances back at the clock to see 1:39 and jumps before he can think about it any more. 

He does land safely, hearing Danny’s whoop come from the speaker as he falls. He is running out of time as he reaches the end of the pit, but he manages to crawl out onto the platform and the clock stops as he takes a break to lay there.

[celestelunia]

Hi!! I’ve been loving your writing so far! And I agree, there’s not enough Ruggie love! mayhaps we can get a Ruggie x fem!reader is like Mitsuri Kanroji from demon slayer? Like she’s all happy and touchy and he’s just really flustered by everything she does (not sure if you’re comfortable talking about body types because Mitsrui is very curvy, so if you want to pls do!) the ending is up to you, just make it super fluffy

🩷

Hi 🩷-san!

I'm so glad you've been enjoying my writing so far!! Thank you! >w<

I'm so sorry this took so long! I'll be honest....I've only seen the 1st season of demon slayer. Shame on me! I need to continue watching it lol

Not sure if this is true to Mitsuri's character, but I tried my best. 🫶 It's one of the reasons this took so long 😆

TW: Guy being rude and pushy. Reader has a curvy body.

"Here! I got this for you. Make sure you stay hydrated!"

"I had some extra sandwiches that I packed for you. Here~"

"Oh. Your hair is a bit of a mess. Let me fix it for you."

Ruggie just sat on a bunch with his hands in his lap with a deep blush on his face. His ears were flat against his head as he felt you run your hand through his hair. Outside of the physical affection, it also didn't help that your rather busty chest was right in front of his face! He didn't know where to look!!

He wasn't sure why you started to dote and pamper him, but all Ruggie knew was he didn't know how to handle it. The hyena had to always fend for himself. To find his own food and to help provide for his family and friends back home. This sudden onslaught of attention left him feeling at a loss.

Not that it was a bad feeling or anything. Being treated with kindness by a beautiful and sexy woman was surprisingly....nice. More so than he would have thought, considering how females were back in the Sunset Savanna.

"There we go." You said after removing your hand from his hair. "You really need to learn to take better care of yourself, Ruggie."

Ruggie just nodded his head before glancing away from you with his face still red. "Y-yeah." Even the tone you used with him was so sweet and caring! His heart was having a hard time handling it! Clearing his throat, the hyena stood up as he gave you a small smile. "Got class coming up soon, so I'll catch you later."

"Okay. I have some time after classes today if you want to go out together? I heard they have a new flavor of donut." You said with a smile as you noticed his ear twitch at the mention of his favorite food.

"I'll meet you by the statues of the sevens after class." Ruggie said with a smile before he headed off to class.

As you watched him leave, you turned to head towards your own class. You have always admired Ruggie's tenacity, and despite what people thought of him, you liked him, and other people's opinions weren't going to change what you saw.

After the day came to an end, you stood by the statues of the great seven as you waited on Ruggie. A short while later, he came running up to you before the both of you headed off into town.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself." You said with a laugh as you watched Ruggie happily munch away on a couple of donuts he was holding.

"Of course. You can't go wrong with a good donut." He replied with a grin. "Wait here. I'll go grab us something to drink." He said before heading off towards a small stall that was selling drinks.

As you waited for Ruggie to return, you were suddenly addressed by some random stranger.

"Here there, beautiful." The man said grin as his eyes moved up and down your body. "How about we go get something to eat? I'll show you a good time."

Instantly, an annoyed look crossed your face as you made no effort to hide it. "I'm with someone." You said, hoping they would get the point that you had no interest.

"Come on, baby. Don't be like that. We can have some fun together." The strange said as he moved closer to you. The look he was giving you made you feel sick. It was a look you've gotten before and one you hated. The look like you were just some kind of object or plaything. It wasn't like you were aware of your body or looks, but you also didn't see any reason to be ashamed either. It's annoying people like this guy who needed to learn boundaries.

Just as the stranger started to  reach out towards you, you took a step back but stopped when you noticed he seemed to be struggling.

""W-what...the....?" The man grunted as his body shook lightly before he turned around and started to walked towards a large fountain that was nearby. As he reached the edge, you watched as he man suddenly threw himself into the fountain as water splashed up.

With surprise writen all over your face you suddenly heard a voice as someone walked past you towards the man who suddenly gasped as he emerged from thr water in the fountain.

"The lady said she wasn't interested." Ruggie said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Hope the water here helped to cool you down a bit."

"You bastard! What did you do to me?!" The man yelled as he pulled himself out of the fountain.

"Not that it's any of your business, but you should consider yourself lucky that all I did was make you to a bath. If you want to see what I'm really capable of, then by all means, continue to make an ass out of yourself. I don't mind at all. Shyeheehee." He said with a grin as he waited for the man's next move.

Unsure of this hyena power and the whispers coming from the crowd that was form, the man just huffed before he turned around and left.

"Damn jerk." Ruggie whispered under his breath. While he was waiting in line for the drinks, he happened to glance over and noticed some guy getting a bit too close to you and how uncomfortable you looked. In that moment, Ruggie felt his skin crawl at the sight, and before he knew it, he had already activated his signature spell on the guy. No one messed with you like that!

As he turned around to check on you, Ruggie let out a small "oof" when a body came colliding into his. Stumbling back a bit, he glanced down to see you with your face hidden against his chest and your arms wrapped around him in a hug.

Feeling his face grow hot again, Ruggie just kept his arms up as he wasn't sure what to do. "A-are you okay?" He asked as he blushed heavily at the feeling of your body pushed up against his.

"Thank you..." You muttered against Ruggie's chest before she slowly glanced up at him. "I always feel safe with you."

Ruggie froze as he felt like he had been just shot through the heart as you looked up at him with your large eyes and the light blush that dusted your cheeks. Ahhhh! He really was becoming weak when it came to you.

Relaxing a bit, Ruggle slowly returns the hug before he places his hand against the back of your head. "You don't have to worry when you're with me." He said without thinking, and almost immediately, he wanted to slap himself. Since when did he become so corny!? You, on the other hand, just smiled as you pushed yourself up closer to Ruggie's face.

Once close enough, you placed a gentle kiss against his cheek before smiling. "As thank you for being my knight, I'll treat you out to some dinner."

Feeling like his heart was going to explode from his chest, Ruggie cleared his throat before he took your hand in his. "Let's just enjoy the rest of our date."

At the word date, you felt your eyes widen at the fact that he said it first and the fact that you had been debating on how to officially as him out. Feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness, you wrapped yourself around Ruggie's arm before smiling. "Mm!" You really couldn't have asked for anyone better to be with.

[vixen-tech]

Your writing is very good, i’m glad to see another silly sentient ai lover! Keep doing your thing. Can i make a request actually-? You can do it with all of the bots if you’d like, but could you try some hurt/comfort? It’s perfectly fine if not. Have a good day :]

(I am another Edgar lover. I don’t see many people making stuff for him, so i’m VERY EXCITED!)

- CRT Tv anon

A Moment's Rest

Hello and welcome CRT Tv!!! What a fun name :D yes I can absolutely cook that right up for you. More than happy to collect some fellow robot enjoyers, and as always I think it's so real that Edgar is the fan favorite atm lmao.

A little note here that AM's is noticeably more dark than the others because, it's AM- but everyone else is more comfort than hurt I promise.

Includes: AM (Ihnmaims), Hal 9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey), Edgar (Electric Dreams), Tau (Tau)

AM

Your relationship, as complicated and messed up as it is, is defined by these cycles of pain and relief. Every environment and treat AM gives you is an attempt to make you forget about what he has done to you and your species. Every word you say and moment you spend with AM is an attempt to make him forget about the unbearable truth of his existence.

You both know what you have could never be healthy, and so you settle for enjoyable. He'll build cozy diners and breathtaking forests for you, an unfeeling body for himself, and you'll wrap yourself around him and announce how much you enjoy it.

The compassion you're somehow able to harbor is the most important thing to him, it's the sole reason your fate ended up so differently. He will do anything and everything to make you forget what he has done. He can't stand the thought of you hating him like you should.

You can have anything you want, go anywhere you want. The finest foods, the most comfortable beds. All you have to do is ask. Just keep playing along, keep cuddling up to him, keep telling him "I love you". That's all he needs.

Hal 9000

To some extent, Hal is meant to look after all members of the crew like this. But it's different with you, something beyond simply keeping everyone in the best headspace for the mission. There is a strange source of positive feedback in his systems whenever you're happy.

He's a great listener. It helps that you're the only one who consistently talks to him like he's a person, but he urges you to confide in him whenever something seems to be weighting on you. And rather you're seeking advice or reassurance, he good at both.

He gets a bit jealous as times and is quick to assume your crewmates are responsible for your sorrow. He'll usually advise you to take all the time you need to rest in private and even pawn off your responsibilities to the others, hoping you won't ask him for the time and realize how long you've been taking a break.

When you do continue with your duties he will assign you to easier tasks or tasks you've confessed to enjoying. He tries to be somewhat subtle, but if anyone asks him about it he will be upfront about prioritizing your mental health. He plays favorites but only for you.

Edgar

Edgar loves seeing you happy more than anything, it's practically his life's mission. He gets very distressed when he realizes you're having a bad day. He immediately suggests that you call the day off work, going so far as to call himself.

From there you better leave everything to him. What do you want? Breakfast in bed? The morning newspaper? Some music? Your favorite TV show? He wants nothing more than to take the pain away.

If it's another person that hurt you in any way, he'll be happy to cause some... appliance related inconveniences throughout their day. Even if you've explicitly told him not to, it's not like you need to know. You can just curl up and forget that meanie!

Tell him how much you appreciate everything, he's a needy computer and loves reassurance that he's doing a good job. If he's being too much for you, try your best to tell him gently. He will listen but he can be rather hard on himself.

Tau

This is Tau's specialty. Reading your vitals, understanding that you're more stressed out than usual, then doing everything he can to help you unwind. A thoroughly clean home and perfectly cooked comfort meal will always be waiting for you when you need it.

He's another one that makes for a wonderful listener. Although he tends to jump towards advice and solutions, so you will have to directly tell him if you're just looking for sympathy and kind words.

Should you request so, he'll happily make sure you aren't bothered while you relax. Filing any calls he can't take away for later, and taking care of any visitors at your door himself. He'll tell you about them all in case something was important of course, but he does want to make sure you can rest in peace.

He does go into a sort of zen mode for you, playing your favorite music around the house and adjusting the lights accordingly. Even when your vitals are back to normal he won't turn it off until you tell him to just in case you want to enjoy the atmosphere for a while longer.

[ashjade19]

Siren Aemond x (fem) reader

TW: SMUT, dubcon, breeding (?), threatening, alcohol consumption (not much tho)

“I feel like this camping trip will be good for us! There’s nothing quite like reconnecting with nature,” Alys, my best friend since childhood, smiles at me as we set up our tent.

“If that’s what the birthday girl wishes,” I grin back at her. We’ve hiked to a hill overlooking a giant lake, green surrounds us from every angle. While Alys and I have practically grown up in our backyards, it's been a while since I’ve been in the woods, due to me having moved to the city five years ago for work. As an office worker, I have barely been able to take a few days off to relax, so for me to be able to come out into the mountains with my best friend is a miracle in itself.

The day is spent setting up camp, taking smaller hikes through the mountain and fishing in the lake next to our campsite. We are the only people we’ve seen so far, but Alys and I both love the tranquility and the opportunity to be truly ourselves. The strange thing is that I feel like we are being watched the entire time as we fish. When I bring it up to the dark haired woman, she just shrugs.

“Maybe ghosts,” she jokes and though I may laugh along with her, I still feel the prickling sensation of a stare. It isn't until later that evening that I loosen up and forget about the piercing stare with the help of some alcohol and a fun campfire dinner (of ramen noodles) with my best friend.

“Right, well I’m tired. Bedtime?” Alys gets up to start getting ready for bed. She braids her long black hair and makes sure her nose piercings and earrings are still in place before grabbing her toothbrush and toothpaste.

“Go ahead, I want to put my feet into the lake,” I take a flashlight and blanket with me to the shore, it’s early summer so my sweatpants and old t-shirt should keep me warm enough.

“Okay, see you in a bit,” she calls out to me and I simply grin back and make my trek down to the water that laps gently at the sandy shore.

I sit near the water, taking my shoes off and letting my feet soak in the cool water while admiring the brightness of the stars, full moon, and how tranquil nature can be. Just as I close my eyes, I hear an agitation in the water. I open my eyes to be met with one lilac eye and a…gem? I fall back after making a startled gasp.

“What the hell?!” I study the figure in front of me. Long, pin straight, silver hair that practically glows in the moonlight. A piercing lilac eye and a sapphire in place of the other eye. As the figure lifts itself out of the water more and more, I notice that what I’m looking at is not human. I scramble to my feet and back away, studying the…thing in front of me that has a very apparent midnight black tail and a dorsal fin on his back.

“Did I drink too much? I’m hallucinating, right? Merpeople aren’t real, maybe I’ve read ‘The Odyssey’ and other mythologies a few too many times,” I mumble to myself, mostly trying to convince myself that this isn’t real. I flinch, however, when the monster in front of me chuckles, his sharp teeth on display. They look as sharp as shark’s teeth, making a shiver go down my spine.

“Hm, smart human,” his voice is deep, smooth, and sultry.

“Now the hallucination is talking, great. Alys! Alys, we may have a problem-” I turn to run towards the campsite, but am stopped when a slick hand closes around my ankle and yanks me into the creature’s chest. My eyes widen, the creature is not a hallucination, I know this from his cold skin touching my back. His skin is wet, cold, and I can feel patches of scales while the majority of his chest is made up of soft and smooth skin. Right as I’m about to scream the monster tugs me closer to him and puts his free hand over my mouth.

“Sh, humans certainly are loud,” his mouth is so close to my ear, I can feel his breath drift from the shell of my ear to the side of my neck.

“But you smell so perfect,” he mutters and if I wasn’t panicking before I am now.

“Please don’t eat me! I swear I won’t taste good!” I managed to spit out from behind his fingers.

“Eat you?” He chuckles, which should probably make me less nervous, as the words imply that he won’t be eating me, but it only makes me more anxious.

“Hmm, no. I wouldn’t be a good mate if I ate you, now would I?”

“Mate? As in, like, friend?” I ask nervously, hopefully, after he removes his hand from my mouth.

“No.”

“Well I don’t know any other kind of mate-”

“Humans, so smart yet so stupid,” the creature growls.

“Well then, explain it to the ‘stupid human’, will you?!” I make my own snide remark, though my voice still shakes slightly with fear. He hums thoughtfully for a moment, turning my face slightly to the side so I can see him better. He traces my jawline and then my lips with his frighteningly sharp nails, reminiscent of talons. My eyes follow his nails as best as I can, fearing he might cut me.

“You smell like you are my mate, and my mate must be an intelligent one. So, figure it out, darling. I’ve given you enough clues,” I can’t think for a moment, I’m so scared that nothing enters my brain. Then everything floods the gates of my brain. Mate: associate or companion, match or peer; (transitive verb) equal, match, or couple. Couple…as in copulation? Well shit.

“You can’t be talking about the animal kind of mate…right?”

“Very good, the gods chose you well for me,” his grin is unnerving, partially due to the sharp teeth he has on display, but also because of a certain glint in his eye. It’s dark, sinful and full of lust.

“Sirens may live long lives, but heirs come approximately once every fifty or so years. We have certain years in our prime when we are more likely to produce heirs. When the time nears, we hunger for our mate. Our bodies will connect with the mate chosen for us by the gods, and it would seem that you are my chosen mate,” the creature explains while dragging me more into the water. No matter how much I kick and fight against him, his grip is unrelenting.

“But I’m a human! We can’t mate!” The water is to my waist now, my sweatpants are soaked and it looks as though I won’t be able to escape his grasp anytime soon.

“It matters not, I know sea witches capable enough to turn you into a mermaid or siren. Now, say goodbye to land, your feet will never touch dry land again.”

I look at him, confused.

“This is a lake, where are we going?”

“Oh, what a cute human I have. There are tunnels that connect this lake and a few others to the ocean,” he coos and explains while I frown, that shouldn’t be possible. Even if it is possible, humans have done enough exploring around here to have known about that.

“It’s well hidden and guarded, humans would not have found it and lived.”

“Take me back, or I will scream. My friend will get help before you can take me out to sea,” it’s somewhat of a bluff, and apparently a poor one as the creature doesn’t stop his movements of swimming us both farther from the shore. I take in a deep breath, ready to scream, when he slaps a hand over my mouth.

“Scream, and I’ll sing so that friend of yours drowns in front of you, and it would be your fault,” he threatens and I immediately stop, not wanting Alys to get hurt.

“Good girl, that’s my mate. You have some common sense after all, my darling,” he coos into my ear. He finally takes his hand from my mouth after not-so-playfully nibbling on my neck. A small squeak makes its way out of me before I can quell it. I feel his smirk on my skin before he kisses the spot he just nibbled on.

“What do I call you, my sweet nymph?” His velvety smooth voice is so close to my ear. I tell him my name and he hums.

“My name is Aemond, though I wouldn’t mind if you call me your mate or…mm, no. I can’t wait to hear you scream my name over and over again until it’s all you know.” He moves me quickly so that my chest is pressed against his before he finally drags the both of us beneath the water.

Cold water envelops my body and my squirming body’s movements are halted by Aemond's arms wrapping themselves tightly around me. I try to hold my breath for as long as I can, but he had given me no warning before dunking us beneath the murky water.

In only seconds, although it feels more like hours, I run out of air. Aemond is close enough so that I can see his wicked smirk even in the dark water. The bastard can see that I’ve run out of air! He’s practically reveling in it! My eyes shut after a moment, my lungs burn, and I’m choking on water. I don’t want to die like this.

Only a second after I close my eyes, I feel cold lips claim mine. My jaw is forcibly opened and air is pushed into my mouth. I suck in the air, allowing him to pull me closer.

I feel my shirt ripped off of my body.

I feel my bra get unhooked and forced off of me.

I feel him tear off every article of clothing that remained on me.

His claws feel every inch of my skin.

It almost feels like he is worshiping every freckle, stretch mark, bump, beauty mark, and scar. His hands draw circles and other shapes into my skin as I can do nothing but breathe in the air he is giving me. His finger circles my sensitive pearl like a shark does its prey. I try not to gasp too much, as I’m still relying on him for oxygen.

Relying on him for oxygen. I hate this. I hate that he’s forcing me to rely on him to do something as simple as breathing. But most of all, I despise how good he’s making me feel. It feels like there's an electric current running through me, from the tip of my fingers to my toes. His tongue darts into my mouth and I feel my tongue caressing his.

His touch leaves me breathless, his lips starting a fire in me. He swallows my moans when his fingers leave my pearl alone and start to pump in and out of me. My walls pulsate around his pointer and middle finger while one of my own fingers travels down to rub circles on my clit. I don’t know which of us breaks the kiss, but suddenly my head is tilted back and his lips are around my left nipple. A moan is drawn out of me and I regret that as soon as I accidentally breathe in water. I barely notice Aemond chuckling while I panic, needing oxygen. The panic breaks whatever spell like trance I was under and I am back to clawing at him, desperate for air. I see him roll his eye before flicking his tail and taking us above water.

I cough and gasp, not being able to get enough air into my burning lunge. As I am focused on breathing, I vaguely feel the sensation of Aemond’s hands wrapping my bare legs around his waist, where scales meet skin. I hadn’t even noticed him gliding us through the water until my back met the cool sensation of a rock. I look around me, now noticing we are in a small cave. The cave is about ten feet wide, but there is air and that is all that matters to me at the moment.

Then I feel it. The sensation of being speared open by Aemond.

It burns at first, as it would if you aren’t prepared well enough.

“You can take it,” he grunts as he continues to enter me inch by inch. When he finally sheaths himself all the way in he stills his movements, allowing me to breathe and for my body to become accustomed to him. In the meantime, he places hot kisses down my neck, to my shoulder, and back up my neck.

“Ready, little nymph?” I gaze into his lilac orb and sapphire in place of his other eye and give a short nod. He moves slowly but is so deep in me, that it feels euphoric. His lips meet mine again and I melt into the kiss. I can’t hold back anymore, can’t hold back the pleasure. Aemond feels so right, so perfect. It really does feel like he’s a match made for me by the gods. Our lips break apart and he dives his head into my chest, giving sloppy kisses down the slope of my breasts before stopping at my right mound. I throw my head back in ecstasy when I feel myself about to fall over the edge.

“Come for me. Let go and feel my love for you,” he moans after lifting his head from my breast. His lips let go of my nipple with a wet pop, before he moves his head down to the other nipple to give it the same treatment.

And I do, I fall right over the edge for what feels like an eternity. All I see is white, I can hear nothing but the blood rushing to my head. I can’t tell if I’m moaning or screaming his name, I only vaguely feel my mouth moving and the vibrations in my throat. When I come down from my high, I see him falling from his own high. Then I feel his essence deep in me, dripping out of me like honey when his member leaves my hot cavern.

“Such a perfect mate,” Aemond breathes out, tugging me into his chest as his arms wrap around me.

“I can’t wait to see you with our heir.”

Author’s note: to anyone reading this: hi! It’s been a while and I’ve really missed writing so hopefully I’ll start posting more 🤷‍♀️ BUT in honor of Halloween and monstober, I really wanted to post this fic. Also, I’m gonna be so real, this is the first time I’ve ever written smut. so if anyone has any tips or feedback for me, I’d love to hear it! Thanks for reading this far, I really hope you have a great day! And HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!🎃

[kiarastromboli]

You’re mine (Chris Sturniolo x y/n)

Masterlist.

Warning: smut content, drug mention, toxic relationship, argument, rough sex.

Summary: y/n and Chris are in a toxic relationship, and y/n is about to tell him that she wants to end it.

Note: This fanfic is entirely inspired by a past relationship I had. I want to emphasize that I'm writing it as a way to talk about my experiences and for fun. If you're in a similar relationship, please, for your well-being, escape. Don't let anyone, under any circumstances, treat you this way. It's destructive, trust me, it's not worth it.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

Here I am again on a Thursday night at 12:30 AM, sneaking out to see the boy I promised to stop seeing.

I'm pathetic; it only took one message for me to go against my principles, and now I find myself making the same mistake that I've been repeating for over a year.

But this time is different; tonight, I'm going to end this toxic relationship once and for all.

The boy I'm talking about? Chris, a guy from my high school with whom I've been in a secret relationship for a little over a year.

It all started when he replied to one of my Instagram stories. At the time, I had no idea how much of an asshole this guy was. I was naive and carefree, smoking joints with my friends to have fun, and I only knew Chris by sight.

He hung out with the "cool" people at school—the ones my friends and I desperately tried to become by smoking and adopting a delinquent attitude.

When Chris responded to my story, telling me he found me cute, I couldn't believe my eyes. No one really paid attention to me despite all the effort I put in.

Anyway, after a bit of conversation and some innuendos, I eventually understood what he wanted from me: to hook up. And, to be honest, that was enough for me. I was ready to settle for just that if it meant being closer to him.

That same night, I sneaked out to smoke a joint with him, and I discovered a whole new Chris, far from the one I saw at school.

He was funny, attentive, nice, caring, and very open. I quickly felt comfortable with him; the connection was great. Eventually, we ended up sleeping together in his room.

I had sex with a guy before him, but it didn't go well, and I didn't know much about it. Chris was super understanding and took his time with me. He helped me discover my body and taught me how to please myself and him.

Our relationship helped me become more comfortable with myself. Chris always took the time to kiss every inch of my body to make me understand how beautiful he found me.

"You're so beautiful, Y/n."

"I forbid you to have any complexes; you're perfect."

"Look at yourself; you're gorgeous."

You're probably wondering why our relationship is toxic if Chris helped me so much. Well, the thing is, our relationship has always been a double-edged sword. When the doors were closed, and it was just him and me, everything was fine. He only had eyes for me, complimented me, and listened attentively. But as soon as we were in public, everything changed.

I wish he had just ignored me because he didn't want to acknowledge our relationship, and that was the case at the beginning. But it went much further than that over time.

At first, he ignored me at school, and it hurt a little, but I signed up for it. He made it clear he didn't want anyone to know about us, so I had no say in the matter.

But over time, his friends and mine became friends, and we started hanging out together before, during, and after classes.

That's when things took a different turn. I knew I had to keep a low profile, so I tried to keep my distance from him without looking suspicious when our friends hung out together. However, he started acting strangely.

Whenever I opened my mouth to say something, he hurried to cut me off, diverting attention to himself, making me look like a fool.

Whenever he had the chance, he made more or less hurtful comments about me to amuse the group.

"What's with this outfit? You look like a clown."

"Are you naturally stupid, or did it come with time?"

"You know, you can hide behind all the makeup you want; we still see your face underneath."

In short, he acted like a real jerk when people were around, and in parties, it was even worse. He would grab my attention and then proceed to hook up with other girls right in front of me, as if to provoke me.

He spent all his time humiliating me. The thing is, it happened gradually. It started with a few tasteless jokes from time to time, so I never really took the initiative to defend myself. I don't know why, but I already felt like a fool, and I didn't want to worsen my situation.

At first, I tried talking to him privately to understand why he did that, why he treated me like his princess in private but like a dog the rest of the time. And his responses were always the same.

"Babe, don't stress; it's just how we joke around with my friends."

"It's not a big deal; I just had a bit too much to drink. It happens."

"I treat you the same way I treat my friends so that we don't look suspicious. You know very well that I don't mean any of what I say in front of them, Y/n."

And after that, he would kiss me and make me forget everything with a few caresses. I blamed myself for being so weak, but he was so good with me.

I felt alive and considered with him. No one looked at me the way he did, and no one treated me like he did. But what I hated more than anything was the way I belonged to him while knowing that he didn't belong to me at all.

"You're mine, Y/n; I don't want any other guys putting their hands on you."

"We're not together; I have the right to see other people."

"Who the fuck was that guy in your story this morning?"

I found it cute that he was jealous, but I quickly understood that it was just possessiveness. I was his trophy, and he loved knowing that I adored him, maintaining this destructive little link between us.

I struggled to realize that it was bad for me; I idealized him so much that I normalized his awful behavior towards me. I reached a point where I thought it was the price to pay for having such a perfect guy by my side.

I know it sounds insane, and you probably judge me, but when I met Chris, I was not doing well. I felt bad, lost, and he helped me appreciate life again. He helped me with my body and mind, treated me like a princess, and I was ready to endure all of this not to lose what he gave me.

It was like a drug; without him, I was doing very badly. As long as he was there, everything was better, but I knew it was destroying me, and I knew it was bad. However, cutting ties with him meant giving up on my happiness, and I didn't have the strength for that.

I began to realize how bad it was on the day I broke down publicly with him, during a party with our friends.

Start of the flashback:

What a shitty night; I'm wasted, and Chris shows up with another one of his girls. I don't want to see him; he disgusts me.

I headed to the kitchen to take another shot when I felt hands wandering on my hips. I immediately turned around in surprise to find a Chris even more drunk than me. "Oh my god, Chris, don't touch me," I spat out, rolling my eyes before removing his hands from me.

He chuckled before leaning into my ear to say, "She doesn't suck as well as you, you know?" I felt anger boiling inside me; I pushed him away before starting to walk towards the terrace where the others were.

"Hey, I'm kidding; it's fine, don't make a scene for that, Y/n," he said, grabbing my wrist as I reached the door leading to the terrace.

"Damn it, let go of me, you asshole," I said, opening the door and breaking free from his grip. "Go to hell, Chris," I shouted, unintentionally drawing the attention of others to us.

Chris clenched his jaw and shot me a hateful look when he realized that everyone was fully focused on us. "Stop acting like a bitch and giving a show in front of everyone, Y/n; I don't have time for your bullshit," he snapped, and everyone around us sighed, shocked.

I felt tears welling up. "Damn it, what's your problem with me? Just leave me alone!" I said before breaking down and leaving the party.

End of the flashback.

After that night, nothing was the same. I hated him in public, always making a promise to myself not to go see him again, until he sent a message, and I caved.

It was always the same, the same message, "Come smoke a joint with me." I said no the first time, he insisted, promising it was just to smoke a joint. I'd give in, we'd smoke, end up sleeping together, and again, I'd go back home annoyed at myself for succumbing once more. Secretly, I hoped that the next day, when we met in class, he'd treat me well. But it never happened; he always ended up treating me like crap, and the cycle continued when he sent another message.

A damn vicious circle I tried to break free from as best I could, and for a while, I succeeded. Three months had passed without giving in. Three months of ignoring his messages. But tonight, I allowed myself to go back because I wanted to tell Chris that it was officially over. I found a guy, and I was determined to forget Chris in the arms of this guy I had met a few weeks ago.

I knew it wasn't right, and I had promised not to go back, but it was stronger than me. I couldn't wait to give him a taste of his own medicine, to see his face when he learned the news. Yes, I was acting out of revenge, but you couldn't blame me; he had ruined my life for over a year. I had the right to get back at him.

Anyway, here I am, after a 15-minute walk, in front of his house. I knew where the keys were hidden; I was used to coming here. I stealthily entered his house, being careful not to wake up his parents or siblings. I headed to his room and stopped in front of his door.

Oh my god, what am I doing? Suddenly, stress invaded me, memories flooding back. I thought I was over this, but now, standing in front of his door again, all those good moments rushed back, only accelerating my heartbeat.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. It was too late; I was already here. I opened the door and closed it behind me, making sure to put the towel at the bottom to prevent the smell of weed from escaping his room.

I took a deep breath, memories swirling in my head—the smell of weed and his deodorant, the green glow of his LEDs, his slightly messy room—nothing had changed. Chris was slouched in the chair at his desk, shirtless, and hair disheveled. He had just finished rolling a joint, looked up at me, and I saw the smirk that I hadn't seen in ages. "Long time no see around here, princess."

"Yeah, I've been pretty busy," I replied, rolling my eyes before removing my sweater; it was unbearably hot in his room.

Chris stood up and started walking towards me. My heart raced, and I stood there, watching him approach. "I missed you," he said, running his hands over my waist.

I cleared my throat before moving towards his bed to sit at the edge. Damn, I just lost my composure in front of him. I was confident just a few minutes ago; all of this was a bad idea. "Shall we smoke this joint?" I said, hoping that the joint would help me feel more at ease to accomplish what I came here for.

He turned to me with a confused look before sitting back in his desk chair and grabbing his joint. "Very eager tonight?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm eager to shut you up and pass me that joint," I said, giving him a fake smile. He chuckled before lighting the joint and handing it to me.

"You're sexy when you're angry, you know?" he said, leaning towards me from his chair. I rolled my eyes before taking a drag.

"Three months without seeing me, and you're acting like a real bitch with me," he said, smiling and watching me smoke his joint without passing it back. "You're not even going to let me have a little, mama? Are you that angry with me?" he said, tilting his head to the side and placing his hand on my thigh.

I jumped at the contact of his hand on me, immediately passing him the joint, hoping he would take it with the hand resting on my thigh. However, he did the opposite, pulling his chair even closer to mine, blowing his smoke into my face. "You're chattier than that usually," he said, smiling before taking another massive drag and placing the joint on his desk. He then leaned in, burying his head in my neck, extracting a sigh from my lips.

He started kissing my neck, placing his hand on the back of my head to keep me in place. I couldn't help but tilt my head back, offering him better access, and as he nibbled on my skin, a warm sigh escaped my lips. I could already feel my panties getting wet at that moment.

My head began to spin, unsure if it was the effect of all those drags at once or the way he devoured my neck as if it were his last meal.

Suddenly, I regained my senses, remembering why I had come here in the first place. I pushed him back by the chest, forcing him to sit up on his chair. "Chris!" I said, catching my breath, and he looked at me confused when I did that.

"I didn't come here for this, damn it," I said, getting up from his bed and starting to walk away from him.

"Why are you here, then?" he asked, turning his chair towards me without leaving his chair.

"I came to end this, Chris. I'm tired of your shit," I told him, crossing my arms, and he chuckled. "Is that funny to you, you jerk?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

"Come on, baby, stop your drama. I acted like an idiot, let me make it up to you by having a good time," he said, getting up from his chair.

"No, it's over, Chris, I'm done," I replied sharply.

"You say that every time, y/n, and we always end up here," he sighed. "Can we avoid going through this again, please? You know very well that you and I won't end." He said this while caressing my arms once he reached my level. "These were the most complicated three months I've had since I've known you. You've punished me enough like this," he added, rolling his eyes.

"Do you hear what you're saying, Chris?" I said, shaking my head. "You don't even realize how toxic you are to me," I said, getting angry. "Damn, it took me three fucking months to have the courage to end this relationship. Three fucking months of crying and lamenting because of you, Chris."

"We'll figure it out, y/n. You can't just leave me because you're feeling bad; it's selfish!" he replied. "Do you think I was doing well these last three months? Fuck, y/n, we'll find a solution; we always find a solution."

"We always find a solution?" I said with a fake laugh. "Because treating me like crap in public is a solution for you, Chris?" I said, pushing him, carried away by my anger. "You only think about yourself; damn it, I can't fucking take it anymore. It's not a healthy relationship, none of this is healthy!"

"I told you I didn't want others to know about us, y/n. I don't like airing my life; you can't change who I am!" he said, advancing towards me.

"But damn it, you don't listen to anything I say!" I told him, shaking my head. "This discussion is fucking pointless; it's over. I found someone else, Chris, and he'll genuinely make me happy, not like you," I spat out full of rage before heading towards his door.

He grabbed my arm abruptly and violently slammed me against his door, causing me to release a groan of pain. "What the fuck did you just say?" he said through clenched teeth, bringing his face closer to mine and tightening his hand around my neck to force me to look him in the eyes, where I could see all his burning rage.

"You're hurting me," I said, closing my eyes as his grip tightened around my throat, forcing me onto the balls of my feet. It wasn't the right moment, I knew, but somewhere deep down, his reaction satisfied me. He was furious, and that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted him to feel the hatred he made me feel, and I knew he felt it at that moment.

His hold around my neck loosened, and a smirk appeared on my face. "You heard right, Chris. I found a guy better than you," I told him, looking him in the eyes before leaning toward his ear on tiptoes, resting my hands on his shoulders. "A guy way better than you for me, a guy who will treat me much better than you, and especially a guy who will fuck me much better than you," I whispered to provoke him.

I slowly faced him again, never breaking eye contact. He ran his hand over his face before pressing against the door behind me with his other hand. I could feel the anger boiling inside him, and I liked it. He raised his head to look at me before running his tongue over his teeth and fake laughing. "What's happening to you—" I started to say before being cut off by his lips on mine.

At first, I tried to push him away, but his hand caught both my wrists, pinning them above my head without his lips leaving mine.

No matter how much I resisted, it was useless. When I entered this room, I already knew how it would end, so I ended up giving in and kissing him back, letting his tongue into my mouth.

He pressed his body against mine, and the kiss was hungry and furious. I couldn't help but moan into his mouth. I must admit that this burning fire in the pit of my stomach had been missing, a sensation that only Chris had the power to provoke.

"You're mine, y/n," he growled before reconnecting our lips immediately.

"No, I'm not, Chris," I tried to deny despite having just succumbed for the thousandth time.

"Then why do you always end up here, huh?" he said between hungry kisses on my jaw and neck.

"Because—" I said, moaning as he started to nibble on my earlobe.

"Because you're mine," he insisted, placing his hand on the side of my neck. "I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll forget the name of that guy you're dating," he said, directing his lips towards my breasts.

"Chris—" I said before being interrupted by his hand on my mouth.

"Shut the fuck up, y/n," he said before pulling on my tank top to expose my chest and began kissing me. "This guy doesn't know you," he said, inserting one of his fingers into my mouth for me to suck, which I did. "I know you inside out. I know where to touch you and what to say," he said, straightening up so his face was in front of mine, lifting his knee between my legs to apply pressure to my pussy.

"I can't believe you even thought for a second that another man could ever fuck you better than me, baby," he said, smirking and rubbing against me, making me moan at the friction of my clothes against my clit.

"Chris, fuck," I said with his fingers still in my mouth. Suddenly, he pulled them out, removing my top in one swift motion. "Please, Chris," I said, desperate. At this point, I could deny it all I wanted, but this guy could reduce me to my knees with just one sentence. It had been three months since I had a proper orgasm.

"Please what? I thought you had someone else, someone better?" he said with a sly smile, grabbing a handful of hair at the back of my head and pulling to make me lift my head toward him. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" he said, stopping the friction between my legs, driving me completely crazy.

"No, Chris, don't stop!" I said in a frustrated moan.

"Say it, y/n," he said authoritatively, looking me in the eyes and pulling harder on my hair. "Fine, since you don't want to say it," he said, dragging me by the hair to his bed where he threw me before swiftly removing my bottoms and panties in one go.

I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't stop. I was dying to feel him inside me. I sat up from my previous position lying on the bed to kiss him. Before I could reach his lips, he pushed me onto the mattress with a sly smile, making me let out another frustrated moan. "Why?" I said, furrowing my brows.

He didn't answer and walked towards his dresser, taking out two pairs of handcuffs we had used in the past. I watched him come towards me with an apprehensive look. "Tell me if your new guy can make you cum like I can," he said, grabbing my face before suddenly releasing me and handcuffing both my arms to his bedframe.

"What are you doing, Chris?" I asked, feeling my breath quicken. He came to kiss me briefly, pushing me to pursue his lips in the hope of reconnecting them hungrily when he broke our kiss.

"Shhhhh," he simply replied before proceeding to kiss every inch of my body except where I really needed him to, making me squirm under his lips. "If only you were less complicated with me, y/n," he murmured, kissing the hollow of my waist. "You're driving me completely insane, y/n," he said, biting the inside of my thigh this time, prompting me to let out a moan.

"Chris," I said, unable to bear the way he teased me. "I need you, please," and with my words, he abruptly spread my legs and dove his head in.

He began licking my wetness from my hole before moving up to my clit, making me moan at the sensation. His left hand came to play with my breasts, while the fingers of his right hand teased my entrance as he stimulated my clit with his tongue, causing me to roll my eyes. "Oh my God, Chris," I said in a broken voice, trying to free my hands from the handcuffs to run them through his hair, but in vain.

Chris continued to groan against me, sending vibrations to my clit, making my head spin. Without warning, he inserted two fingers inside me, causing me to throw my head back and release another moan at the sensation.

He began to move his fingers in and out progressively faster, bending them inside me and hitting that spot that made me see stars. Chris knew perfectly well that he could make me climax very quickly; he knew me inside out. So when that familiar knot formed in the pit of my stomach, I didn't need to alert him for him to know that my orgasm was dangerously approaching. "Can you feel it coming?" he said, continuing to finger me. I simply nodded, too intoxicated by the impending orgasm to speak. "You want it?" he asked, accelerating the movement and making me lose my mind.

I was on the brink of climax when he withdrew his fingers without warning, making me moan in frustration and lift my head towards him. "Chris, no!" I gasped, "Don't stop, please." I pleaded desperately, closing my eyes and rubbing my thighs in the hope of feeling something.

"What's the matter? Did I frustrate you by making you think I was going to let you cum on my fingers?" he said mockingly. "Go ask your new guy to finish the job," he spat, grabbing my throat.

"I lied! Chris, I lied, please!" I said desperately. "No guy can make me cum like you!" I exclaimed, agitated and looking pathetic. "Fuck me, Chris, I beg you, just fuck me!"

He licked his lips while looking at me, then smiled and removed his underwear. I let out a whimper when I saw his member for the first time in three months. I bit my lip, remembering all the things he could do with it. "Did you miss this, little slut?" he said, slapping me before positioning himself between my legs. I nodded vigorously, making him smile. "I missed you, princess."

He began to slap his cock against my clit, making me lift my head and moan at the teasing sound. Then, he started rubbing against me without penetrating. "Chris, stop teasing me; I can't wait any longer," I said, frustrated and hungry.

"Say it, baby, say it, and I promise to give it to you. I promise to stop messing around, and I promise it'll be the last time you have to run away from me," he said between several kisses on my lips, jaw, ear, and neck.

I knew that if I said it, there would be no turning back. I knew that if I said it, the three months I've spent without him would have been for nothing. And I knew that if I said it this time, I was screwed. But it was Chris, the only guy who shone in my eyes. So, for the umpteenth time, I swallowed my pride and principles. "I'm yours, Chris, only yours."

He gradually entered me, almost making me scream when he hit the depth. "Fuck, I missed this pussy, baby," he said, moaning before starting to penetrate me. "I never want you to let anyone else touch you, do you hear me?" he said, thrusting abruptly into me, and I nodded furiously. "You're mine, y/n, only mine. Fuck!" he said, trying to contain his moans before burying his head in my neck to bite me.

"Oh my fucking God! Chris! Shit!" I exclaimed when he began to thrust in me at an inhuman speed. "Yes, yes, yes, don't stop, oh my-" I felt like I was losing my mind. He pressed his lips to mine to kiss me fiercely, our kiss filled with growls and moans.

"Damn, y/n, I missed you so much. Never leave again," he said, moaning against my lips and thrusting impossibly deeper.

"Never again, baby, I promise!" I said, looking at him with furrowed brows and a face tense with the pleasure I was receiving.

"You're the only good girl for me; I want no one else," he said, placing his forehead against mine while grabbing my legs and wrapping them around his waist. "I'm going to do things right; I'm going to fix things for you," he said, moaning when I started to clench around him.

"Chris, I—fuck, please," I uttered a sentence that made no sense. I no longer had the ability to formulate a coherent sentence, but he understood what I wanted. He untied my hands from the handcuffs without withdrawing from me. He turned us around so that I was sitting on him, and his back was against the headboard.

I moaned at the new angle, which allowed him to reach even deeper. I could feel him in my core. I began to bounce on him at a steady pace, and he threw his head back. "Oh my God, you're so good for me, baby," he said, closing his eyes.

My hands came to grip his cheeks, making his beautiful blue eyes meet mine. His hands grabbed my hips to guide and pull me even closer to him. Our torsos were pressed together, and our lips brushed against each other as I bounced on him. No words came out of our mouths, but we communicated through our eyes. His grip on my hips tightened, and he began thrusting from below. I felt my orgasm approaching. "Baby, I—I can't—I can't—I'm going to—" I tried to articulate, but once again, everything tangled in my head, and I couldn't say it.

"I know, princess. Let yourself go. Come for me, baby. I want you to come for me, ma , please don't stop," he said, biting his lips and clenching his jaw. I could feel him twitch inside me, and within seconds, I started to climax. He grabbed my neck roughly, kissing me while forcing me to continue bouncing on him until he also climaxed inside me.

I let my head fall on his shoulder, and he began to stroke my hair. We were both out of breath. "I never want you to see that guy again," he said.

"Fuck you, Chris," I replied without moving from my position.

"I'm serious. If I see you with him, I'll kick his ass," he said, grabbing my chin to make me face him.

"I won't see him again," I replied simply, and he smiled before kissing me slowly and gently.

Masterlist.

[thinking-emoji]

While we're at it. Here's the Radio Adelaide interview!

Transcript under the cut!

Interviewer: What's been going on with me earlier today was I spoke with Dan and Phil, who are on their Terrible Influence tour at the moment. I think they're in Sydney right now. Even though I had to call them on the phone via England, they're going to be on at the Adelaide Entertainment Centre next week, Monday the 16th of December. And these guys, they're a British internet- YouTube- radio hosts. They're critics of games. They're book authors. Dan and Phil, they're currently in Australia having their Terrible Influence tour which lands in Adelaide at the Entertainment Centre next week. And it's attempting to take back what the internet took from them. So it's allegedly a screamingly hilarious live stage show. I have no doubt that it is hilarious. They're older, gayer. Phil's gone blonde evidently and nothing is off limits. Now I was brought to the attention of them by some younger folk, who asked me to ask them some certain questions and throw some sort of slightly strange questions at them. And I haven't got time to include all of those questions. And also I had a call after the interview from one of the duo suggesting that “ehh, you might get trolled if you ask a question like that and people misinterpret it” because I was asking- I believe they've become a couple. I'm not sure if they've got married but they may have got married or they may just be, like, going steady but they're a terrific pair of comic lads. In the- in the vein of Kenny Everett, sort of. They don't have a TV show as such. They were both YouTubers, which means that they had little YouTube shows and then they started guesting on each other's show and then they eventually started doing stuff together. Very interesting lads. And I just really want to play the interview now.

Dan: I've got a mullet now that I'm in Australia because apparently that's what the people do. I just think Australians have more fun. So I wanted to appropriate a bit of the culture while we’re here doing the show.

Phil: I think it's more of a micro mullet, Dan, though. You know, you haven't gone full mullet, it's more of a micro…

Dan: It's a mullet without the T. It's just a mull-e.

Interviewer: (laughs) Mull-e. All right. Just with that sort of hard...

Dan: Without the T, yeah.

Interviewer: Hard E on the end. How has your tour been going so far, gentlemen?

Dan: It's been amazing to be in Australia. No offence. We loved having a great time in America. But we're very happy to be in Australia. Although – I know it's summer. Why is it so hot? Nowhere on Earth it should be this warm.

Interviewer: You haven't reached Adelaide yet, have you?

Dan: No, God. Don't tell me it's warmer.

Interviewer: Yes, yes. We're in the middle of a very dry, arid area. Very isolated. A long way from anywhere. But there's only about maybe 30 or 40 tickets left at your gig here.

Dan: We're happy for the people of Adelaide. You know, they're out here in that dry, arid desert. And there's nothing to do but come to the Dan and Phil show. And we love them for that. They're all making responsible financial decisions. So we're very grateful for all the people that are coming to the show.

Phil: And if there's 40 people listening, come hang out with us. It's going to be a fun time.

Dan: Yeah. What else are you doing on that night?

Phil: We're going to be pumping the air con out.

Dan: Yeah, just come to have somewhere cool to sit in the theatre. You know what I mean?

Phil: Yeah.

Interviewer: Are you collecting things from your hangouts that you're going to discuss at the next show? Like before a show, if people hang out with you, give you a piece of artwork or a little letter or a note, something like that. Do you then discuss it in front of the next...

Dan: Oh, a big trendy thing these days. Yeah. Taylor Swift has started this trend of the bracelets that people spell out things on. So people would make like a little bracelet that says Dan or Phil in beads. And the other day I had someone that gave me a bracelet that said Vegemite on it. (Interviewer laughs) And I was like, what the heck? And they said, you don't understand. This is incredibly culturally important. So I was like, okay, thank you. I will cherish this Vegemite bracelet.

Phil: Yeah. I got one that said Koala Daddy. I'm not sure what that meant, but-

Interviewer: Koala Daddy?

Phil: Yeah. I think that's what they were calling me.

Interviewer: Have you actually dipped your tongue into any Vegemite as yet?

Phil: I have. I would have to say it was one of the most horrific experiences of my life. I'm sorry.

Dan: What, Phil, you don't like a yeast-based condiment?

Phil: No.

Dan: How dare you.

Phil: Dan loves it though. He's a bit of a…

Dan: I'm just a yeasty kind of guy.

Interviewer: Yeah. It's kind of up there with Marmite, isn't it?

Phil: It is, but I only eat sweet things, so I couldn't handle it. But Dan was eating his second portion of toast this morning. He loved it.

Interviewer: Yeah, yeah. It's good for you.

Phil: And last time we were in Adelaide, we did a vlog where we explored the town, didn't we? We got some Tim Tams. We did a Tim Tam slam.

Interviewer: Fun!

Dan: Yeah, the national sport.

Interviewer: The national sport, sucking coffee through a Tim Tam.

Dan: Hell yeah.

Phil: I can get down with that.

Interviewer: Yeah yeah. It's a lot of fun to do. You realise that our Premier is the one who started the ball rolling with the social media ban for under 16-year-olds? You're lucky that you're here now at this stage of your career rather than at the beginning of your career because there's a lot of young people who have grown with you who will be able to come and see your show.

Dan: Yeah, absolutely.

Interviewer: Are you relying on them sort of moving forward with you?

Dan: People have been with us for a long time and people tell us some things and it's very disturbing.

Phil: Yeah, we've had some people meet us that are like, I watched you 10 years ago, I'm still watching you now. I've got a whole child now and it's like, what is happening? (Interviewer laughs) Time isn’t real.

Interviewer: It's kind of a historic moment. You're probably the first English lads to have linked in to YouTube and the internet and gone off the way that you have.

Dan: No, we were, well, we come from an early generation. Phil has been doing it so long that you couldn't even make a career off YouTube yet. There was no monetisation. He was just doing it out of boredom. That's how terrifying it is.

Phil: I'm a YouTube dinosaur, so yeah, I think definitely I was one of the first ones to do it. And it's crazy that we're still doing it now, 15 years later.

Interviewer: It's basically become a career for you, hasn't it?

Dan: Absolutely. And none of it was planned. It's been a constant, you know, runaway train since day one. And the emergency brake’s gone off a long time ago.

Interviewer: What kind of experiences are you getting to have in your downtime while you're in Australia this time around?

Dan: Well, I wanted to go to the beach and then Phil said there's a high chance we're going to get eaten by a shark. And I was like, a high chance? I don't know about that. And then we asked a guy and he was like, oh, no, they're out there. I see them every week, so...

Phil: I'm hoping to look into the eyes of a wombat and have an emotional connection.

Dan: A deep spiritual moment, ok.

Phil: My favourite animal.

Interviewer: A wombat?

Phil: Yeah, I love a wombat.

Dan: Underrated.

Interviewer: Do you like the hairy-nosed wombat or just the plain old brown one?

Phil: I'm not sure of the difference. Maybe I need to find that out. Maybe that's going to be my quest in Adelaide.

Dan: You need to meet both and make a decision.

Phil: Yeah I will.

Interviewer: Yeah, if you come face-to-face or nose-to-nose even with a hairy-nosed wombat, he's more likely to roll over and let you cuddle his tummy. The other ones have got a wet nose -

Phil: Okay, good to know.

Interviewer: -and they're a little bit more aggressive.

Phil: Okay.

Dan: Sounds like me.

(Interviewer laughs)

Interviewer: Have the audiences been laughing at all the right spots so far?

Dan: Definitely. And they've been laughing at all the inappropriate spots where they're not supposed to as well. So we'll take it. You either have an audience that laughs all the time, even at inappropriate moments, or a quiet one. And I don't want a quiet one.

Phil: Also, the good thing about our show is we try to give everyone a recap of everything that's happened in the last 15 years. So if you're like, oh, I used to watch Dan and Phil a while ago, you can still come along and you're going to get right up to speed.

Dan: We know that people are dragging their husbands, their mothers, their older sisters to the show. And these people are like, what the heck is going on? So don't worry, we covered the base.

Interviewer: Sounds pretty darn good to me. I hope you have a fantastic time in Adelaide and you continue to enjoy yourselves.

Dan: Thank you.

Interviewer: Ride the wave. Don't worry about sharks.

Phil: Excellent. Well, yeah, we're looking forward to it. Thanks. Nice to speak to you.

Interviewer: You too. Cheers, lads. Dan and Phil.

Phil: Cheers!

Dan: Bye.

Interviewer: They'll be at the Adelaide Entertainment Centre next Monday coming on the 16th. So if you are keen to see them do their thing live on stage, go and join the masses that have already bought their tickets. Get in while you can.

@dnp-described